


How to destroy a shower wall and acquire a boyfriend in one day

by raeupchen



Series: Don't try this at home [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Play, Awkwardness, Handyman Derek Hale, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Meet-Cute, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 14:37:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17285954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raeupchen/pseuds/raeupchen
Summary: The tiles were pushed in, looking as if they’d crumble if someone breathed too hard on them.Somehow the tile with the dildo was still attached to the wall, Stiles wasn’t too sure how thatwas possible but he didn’t question it. The only thing he was sure of was, that he couldn’trepair that on his own. There went his security deposit for the apartment, dammit!





	How to destroy a shower wall and acquire a boyfriend in one day

**Author's Note:**

> Once again [proudandbroken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/proudandbroken/) sent me a link “Sterek prompt?” and somehow I had to  
> write this one. So yeah, this fic was inspired by [this](http://amarriageoftrueminds.tumblr.com/post/181467825368/mikeward1701-harryll0yds-nomorefreerandy).  
> This time it is not related to the other two in the series. I tried to tweak it to somehow fit the  
> others, like some kind of prequel, but the story simply wouldn’t comply...  
> The story was beta read by myself, I hope I caught all the mistakes.  
> Enjoy

Stiles’ day had started out pretty ordinary but good, until it took a turn for the weird and  
awkward. It had been his first free day in over three weeks and he’d slept in as late as possible.

  
Luxuriating in the freedom of having no alarm to disturb his much needed rest.  
When he finally emerged from his bed, Stiles decided on a light breakfast before taking a  
long, hot shower. Padding from his bedroom to his kitchen, he tried to ignore his erection,  
which was making its presence known with every step he took. Stiles gave it a fast tug and pat, before ignoring it once more. He silently promised his dick a nice, long wank in the shower with just the right pressure coming out of the shower head.

  
He’d have taken his shower before eating anything but his stomach was growling at him, as if it cautioned him to feed it right this instant or he’d suffer the dire consequences. Which in this case could mean anything, but Stiles had the sense of foreboding that his stomach would  
simply eat itself.  
So never one to question his guts, Stiles put together some breakfast with the sad leftovers in his fridge. He made a mental note to go grocery shopping later that day, because not only had his sleeping habits suffered under his huge workload but also the contents of his fridge and pantry. Working full time and living alone sucked royally when you ran out of food, Stiles  
thought. He’d visit his dad, but knowing the man, his fridge wouldn’t look any better as the Sheriff made a habit out of eating take out as often as possible.

  
Having finished his small meal, Stiles put his dishes into the sink to be cleaned later, before he made his way to his bedroom to grab one of his favorite toys – a dildo with a suction cup to attach to the shower wall. It wasn’t the biggest toy in his collection, even though it tended to be on the larger side, but in Stiles’ opinion it still was one of the best.

  
With his bounty in one hand he went to his bathroom to start the fun he’d planned for his  
morning. Stiles started the shower before pushing down his briefs and attaching the dildo to the wall opposite the shower head.

  
It had taken him a few tries and a lot of failed experiments after he’d brought this toy home to find the right wall and the perfect height for it. Maybe it sounded ridiculous but Stiles had taken it quite seriously to find the perfect spot for his enjoyment. He tried to never half ass anything, least of all if it involved his own pleasure.

  
After some trial and error he’d finally decided on the wall opposite the shower head. It was the perfect wall, as the water didn’t cause any problems with the suction – and more importantly the _lube_. The perk of this position was that Stiles still got warmed by the water it when he rode the dildo and could use the spray to stimulate himself further.

  
The height had been the slightly trickier part but Stiles hadn’t given up and found that  
putting the toy a few inches below his ass, so that he had to squat a little, was the perfect  
height for the most effective and realistic penetration.  
In Stiles’ eyes it wasn’t only a sex toy but also a substitute for a gym membership. His ass and thighs had never looked better than since he started using the toy. So he didn’t only have great orgasms thanks to his toy but also nicely muscled thighs and a perky apple butt to boot.

  
Stiles grabbed a bottle of lube out of his medicine cabinet and stepped inside the shower.  
After closing the shower curtain he deposited the bottle beside his shower gel on the little shelf inside the shower. He luxuriated in the feeling of the water pelting down on him, it had the perfect pressure and was one of the best things – if not _the_ best – his apartment had to offer.

  
Not wasting anymore time, Stiles tugged a little on his dick to get it back in the game, as it had deflated a little while he ate. It didn’t take him long and he was just as hard as he’d been just after waking up. Stiles contemplated washing himself first before fucking his dildo but decided against it as he’d only get dirty again and had to repeat the process. He only took a  
little shower gel and washed between his cheeks and used the suds to smooth the push of his dick into his hand, using this to start slowly teasing himself. After he was sure he was clean enough, he washed away the shower gel and grabbed the bottle of lube to start preparing himself for the toy.

  
Stiles started small, with only one finger circling his hole as it had been some time since he’d taken anything up his ass. Normally he’d imagine some guy doing this to him but right then he was content to be aware that it was his own fingers giving him pleasure. Soon he’d relaxed enough to add a second finger. He longed for some stimulation for his dick but knew if he  
started now it would be over way too soon, so he refrained from touching it. Instead he  
grabbed onto one of his cheeks, massaging it in rhythm with the fingers penetrating his ass.

  
After Stiles had added a third finger and spread them a little, he was sure he could take the dildo on. He hoped at least that he was ready, seeing as he couldn’t wait any longer. He needed to feel something more solid inside himself, deeming his fingers insufficient. Stiles grabbed the bottle of lube once more, before turning around and giving the dildo a short handjob, to slick it up, that made his dick twitch in envy. Turning his back again to the wall, he took the dildo in one hand, while the other started to stroke his erection, and started to slowly lower himself onto the silicone dick.

  
Feeling the head breach his hole, Stiles couldn’t stop himself from moaning, enjoying the stretch immensely. Yes, it had really been way too long since he’d had something shoved up his ass but the slow descent he put himself through right then made more than up for it. He reveled in the feeling of the slick cock pushing his way into his body. Moaning loudly once it was fully inside him with his ass touching the slightly colder shower wall, which added another sensation to the whole thing. He rested for a little while in this position. Still stroking his dick to keep it interested even though it wasn’t really necessary with the much welcomed,  
sweet burning ache in his backside.  
After taking a few calming breaths, Stiles pried his hand away from his dick, put both of them onto his thighs and started moving his hips. Every time the dildo was pushed back inside him a slightly suppressed grunt left Stiles’ mouth. The sounds were amplified by the tiled walls and floors of the bathroom, creating a slight echo, which only spurred him on.

  
In Stiles’ opinion there were few better feelings than a cock pushing inside him, no matter if a real cock or a silicone one. He loved all of them in equal measure, even though a real one would be much appreciated as he’d have to do a lot less work. He could simply stand there,  
with his hands pushed against the wall, and take it as the guy behind him pushed both of  
them to completion.

  
Not really willing to contemplate his single status right this instant, Stiles started to increase his tempo. He pushed harder and harder against the wall, trying various angles before he finally found his prostate. He stayed in the position that enabled him to brush against it with every push and pull. Knowing that his orgasm was fast approaching Stiles grabbed for his  
shower gel, as it made for a way better glide under the steady spray of his shower head.

  
After he’d soaped up his hand and dick sufficiently, Stiles increased his tempo once more. He was hitting the wall so hard, he was afraid he’d tear something if he went any faster. Finally he felt a tingling in his balls, which he’d neglected the whole time, before the first spurts of his orgasm fought their way out of his body.

  
When he started coming with a shout, it seemed as if Stiles’ body had a mind of its own. His hips increased the speed and force once more, until he felt the wall behind himself yield under the pressure of his thrusts. Fearing he was loosing his footing with the lack of support from the wall, Stiles’ shout of pleasure morphed into a yelp of fear and shock. He flailed, trying to grab onto anything that could prevent a fall.  
Once he was sure he had his footing back and wouldn’t land on his ass – which would’ve hurt a lot with the dildo still in it – Stiles held onto the base of said dildo, making sure the thing stayed where it was on the wall, before he pulled himself slowly off it.

  
Sighing in relief once he was freed, Stiles closed his eyes, before turning around to look at the damage done. He hoped it wouldn’t be too severe and he could repair it himself, without his landlord being any the wiser. Taking a deep breath, Stiles opened his eyes and cursed quite colorfully.

  
The tiles were pushed in, looking as if they’d crumble if someone breathed too hard on them.  
Somehow the tile with the dildo was still attached to the wall, Stiles wasn’t too sure how that was possible but he didn’t question it. The only thing he was sure of was, that he couldn’t repair that on his own. There went his security deposit for the apartment, dammit!

  
Stiles decided that he should shower in earnest first, before calling his landlord and telling him about the damage in his shower. Sadly the afterglow of his orgasm had vanished once he’d laid eyes upon the damage done by his enthusiastic thrusting.

  
Sighing dejectedly Stiles gave his body a fast wash, before turning off the water and stepping out onto his bathmat. The whole time contemplating how he’d explain the destruction of the shower wall. He grabbed a towel and put it around his hips, before wandering to his bedroom, deciding he’d clean and put the dildo away once he’d made his call.

 

 

 

\-----

Once he was dry and clothed, Stiles grabbed his phone and dialed his landlord. Still not  
knowing how to explain the small catastrophe disturbing his one free day.

  
“Yes?” came the rather unfriendly voice of the man through the receiver.

  
“Hey, hi...uh…this is Stiles...Stilinski…I need an...uhm...well...” Stiles started stammering, until he was interrupted by the obviously annoyed man on the other end.

  
“Well what is it that you need Mr. Stilinski?”

  
“Someone to fix some tiles in my shower,” Stiles finally decided on. “They came loose.” Stiles could’ve sworn he heard the man mutter ‘This fucking house is driving me insane!’, before the man told him someone would be by in a short while.

  
Happy that his request would be met rather quickly, Stiles hung up and started on his dishes, which had also been neglected while he was working. He pushed the thoughts of his dildo away, as he surely had enough time to tidy up as it was a well known fact that handymen took some time to turn up. And it wouldn’t do if the guy coming around to repair the damage inside his bathroom, would see the mess in his kitchen, one of the let downs of an open floor plan. Everything was visible to the people who crossed the threshold and stepped into his apartment.

  
Stiles was in the middle of putting his newly cleaned and dried dishes in their respective  
cupboards when someone knocked on his door. He startled so badly, he nearly lost hold of the dishes. Who could that be? Surely not the guy to repair his tiles, right? It hadn’t been that long, had it? Putting the dishes away, Stiles hurried to open the door, yelling a “Coming!” for good measure. Afraid that the person would just leave again, because he hadn’t reacted right away.

  
Once he opened the door, he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or not. Before him stood one of the most handsome men he’d ever seen and he wasn’t even exaggerating. The guy was tall, with dark hair and dark stubble gracing his face. That wasn’t all. As he let his gaze wander down, he noticed the guy had muscles nearly bursting out of the indecently tight shirt he wore over just as tight jeans. At his feet stood a toolbox and some kind of bag.

  
“Uhm...yes?” Stiles asked dumbly, not able to form any coherent thoughts.

  
“Are you Stilinski?” the guy asked to which Stiles could only nod, still mesmerized by the  
apparition before him. “Well...can I come in?”

  
“You can come everywhere you want…I mean, yes sorry,” Stiles mumbled, turning as red as a tomato. Fuck, hopefully the guy wouldn’t sue him. He couldn’t control his tongue on the best of days and with this _god_ – yes Stiles was a tad over dramatic – before him, it was a feat he hadn’t tried to climb him like a tree.

  
The guy luckily didn’t comment on what Stiles had said, instead he grabbed both the toolbox and bag and entered Stiles’ apartment.

  
“So where did you say the damage occurred?” the guy asked.

  
“Uhm...in the bathroom. The tiles are kinda smashed in? Well not really _smashed_ in,  
but it doesn’t look that good and I’m rubbish with tiling, so I called the landlord...” Stiles  
started to ramble until the guy – Stiles really needed to ask his name – raised an eyebrow and Stiles immediately stopped speaking.

  
“So...can I see it?” hot handyman – no, bad Stiles that’s not what you’re calling him – asked after Stiles’ silence continued.

  
“Sure, just...follow me,” Stiles said and marched towards his bathroom. When he opened the door, he immediately noticed that he had forgotten a crucial detail in his haste to clean the apartment.

  
On the destroyed wall it still was. The offending item. The thorn in Stiles’ side. The corpus delicti...the _fucking dildo_ that was still attached to the wall, even though said wall  
looked like it was seconds away from smashing into the shower base. Stiles was pretty sure he had seen the fake phallus bob happily as soon as the other man entered the bathroom behind Stiles, as if to mock him further and add to his embarrassment.

  
“Uhm...well...” now it was time for the handyman to stumble over his words. “I can’t say I’ve ever seen something like that...”

  
“It really isn’t what it looks like!” Stiles tried to defend himself.

  
“No? Because to me it looks like you’ve got a dildo with a suction cup attached to your broken shower wall...”

  
“Well...when you put it like that it is _exactly_ what it looks like, but I actually meant  
that I didn’t want this to look like some stupid porn opening...” Stiles said, while brushing a  
hand over his face. “I think it’s time you told me your name, seeing as you’re looking at one of my sex toys...” That got a laugh out of the other man.

  
“Derek,” was the simple answer. Stiles was confused at first, but rolled with it.

  
“Okay Derek, I’m Stiles. And now I’m taking this _thing_ off the wall and let you do your  
job,” he muttered, before he grabbed a towel and took the dildo off the wall, trying and failing to keep the tile it was suctioned to on the wall. He was silently cursing the stupid thing, but also thanking it in equal measures as he wouldn’t have met Derek without it.

  
After he’d detached the dildo, he handed Derek the tile, before he left the room as fast as possible. He brought the wall destroyer into his bedroom. When Stiles returned to the  
bathroom, Derek had put on a tool belt and already started to take down the remaining loose tiles. Stiles immediately began to wonder how the other man had managed to put the belt on and begun detaching the loose tiles in the short time he’d been gone from the room but didn’t question it. Instead he asked Derek if he needed any help, which the man declined.

  
Not wanting to hover too much, Stiles left the man to his work and went into his kitchen,  
where he started assembling a grocery list. He wasn’t completely able to focus on the task at hand, his thoughts always straying back to the man inside his bathroom and wondering what the guy thought about Stiles now. Not that it really mattered as he was sure he wouldn’t see Derek ever again.

  
Trying to be a good host - were you even a host to someone who was kinda employed by you?  
Nevermind. Trying to be a good host, as he was sure Derek had to be thirsty, Stiles pulled two glasses out of his cupboard and some juice from his fridge. He filled both glasses and took them to the bathroom, offering Derek one when the other man looked up from what he’d been doing.

  
“Here, I thought that you’re maybe thirsty or something. I’d offer you something to eat but I had the last few edible things for breakfast,” he explained shyly.

  
“You don’t need to feed me, that you thought of bringing me something to drink is enough,”  
Derek said, before draining his glass. “So, I know I shouldn’t ask, but how the hell did you  
manage that? Not only were those tiles loose, but also the drywall is dented,” he asked, while pointing to the hole in the wall, where Stiles could clearly see the break in the drywall.

  
“I really can’t explain how that happened, because it’s super awkward  
andyou’rekindahotandohmyGodI’mshuttingupnow,” Stiles said before he could stop himself.  
It took Derek some time to digest what the other man had said, before he barked a laugh.

  
“Fair enough, but I’m pretty sure that the things I’m imagining are way worse than what really happened,” he teased Stiles a little, whose new skin tone seemed to have turned to a constant deep red.

  
“Urgh, fine. So I thought as it’s my first free day in over three weeks or so, I’d celebrate. _In_  
style, you know? I woke up, ate breakfast and then thought why not have a really good  
time in the shower? Yeah, end of the story: My ass is so powerful it broke the tiled wall and apparently the wall behind that, too. So I had to call my landlord, who sent me _you_.  
Not that I’m complaining, because as I said you’re kinda hot and now I’m shutting up again, as I’m starting to sound like the bad porn I mentioned earlier,” Stiles explained, taking deep  
breaths in between his explanation, because he didn’t want to repeat himself in case Derek didn’t understand him. It was bad enough to say this shit the first time.

  
“Sounds like a great idea, well all except the destroyed wall,” Derek smirked, before motioning to the wall. “I can’t fix this right now as I have to take down all the tiles, so I can repair the drywall. I’ll head out now to get some new drywall and once I return, I’ll try to finish up here as fast as possible.” Stiles had feared as much, when Derek pointed out the crack in the drywall, but hearing it from the expert was extremely upsetting. There went his hope of enjoying the rest of his day in peace.

  
“Okay, well then I’ll be waiting for your return. Or do you know how long it’ll take you, as I  
really need to do my grocery run?” Stiles hoped there was at least time to do that, before the man returned.

  
“It’s hard to say, but I’ll wait for you to come back. Wouldn’t want you to starve, just because you were a little too enthusiastic.” If Stiles hadn’t started to hallucinate in the last few moments, Derek had said this with a smirk and a wink at the end. Could this really be happening? He resisted the urge to look around for some hidden cameras, as it now truly felt like the beginning to some bad handyman related porn.

  
“You’d seriously do that? That’s so nice, but now you _have_ to let me feed you,” Stiles  
insisted, ignoring the slight innuendo in his offer.

  
“Well if you insist...” Derek grinned, looking as if he wanted to say something about  
_feeding_ himself. Trying to be the better man, Stiles didn’t comment on Derek’s grin,  
instead he inquired if the other man was vegetarian or anything. The answer he got, nearly undid him: “Stiles, trust me, you don’t have to fear about me not liking meat. I  
_thoroughly_ enjoy it...”

  
Choking on air, Stiles simply nodded. Derek seemed to be content with the reaction he got, before he took off his tool belt and signaled to Stiles to lead the way out of the bathroom.  
Acting on instinct he went to collect his phone, wallet and keys, before following Derek towards the entrance door. They rode the elevator together in companionable silence. When they reached the ground floor, Derek bid Stiles goodbye and promised once more that he’d wait for him to return.

 

 

\----

The whole time during his shopping trip Stiles felt as if he was walking on clouds. In his opinion the day couldn’t become any more surreal, even if it tried.

  
When he’d finally found everything he’d jotted down on his list and paid for his bounty, Stiles returned home. It wasn’t that long of a trip from his trusted supermarket to his apartment building. While he unloaded part of his purchases he wished for more arms, so he didn’t have to make more than one trip from his car to his apartment. Sadly no new appendages started sprouting out of his torso, so he grabbed the bag with the things that needed to be refrigerated immediately and made his way through the lobby and up in the elevator.

  
Once he arrived on his floor and the doors had opened, Stiles could see Derek waiting in  
front of his apartment door. Immediately he wanted to apologize for taking this long but  
before even one word left his mouth, Derek held up his hand and told him that he’d arrived only moments before. Stiles wasn’t too sure if he trusted the man, but rolled with it. He even let Derek take one of the bags he was carrying so he could open the door for the two of them.

  
“Is there more? Do you need help?” Derek asked. Stiles was surprised as the other man didn’t look like the gentlemanly type, but he knew looks could be deceiving and Derek had already proven how helpful he could be.

  
“Yes and yes please?” Stiles asked with a small laugh, still amazed how strange the whole day had been up until this point. Without further prompting Derek went out the apartment door and came back with a slap of dry wall. Carrying the thing as if it weighed next to nothing, which told Stiles one thing about the man: he wasn’t simply strong, no he was werewolf strong. Hm, what a nice surprise.

  
“Okay, are you ready to make the trip down or do you need to put anything into the cooler?”  
Derek asked, which brought Stiles out of slight day dream of Derek pushing him against a wall and devouring him. Turning red, as he feared the other man could smell his interest, Stiles nodded and turned to his bag to unload the frozen items within. He tried to work as  
fast as possible so Derek could return to his actual work.

  
Once he was finished, he smiled at Derek and told him they could bring up the rest of the  
groceries. Reassuring him, that it wasn’t _that_ much. Derek just shrugged in answer  
and followed Stiles downstairs.

  
With another person – and apparently werewolf strength – it was easy to unload Stiles’ trusted Jeep and put all the groceries in the kitchen, where they waited to be put away.

  
Derek told Stiles he’d continue his work, to which the human replied he’d tidy up his kitchen and get started on the promised food. It felt weirdly domestic to Stiles, especially seeing as they’d met only a few hours ago and hadn’t talked an awful lot during this time. Shrugging Stiles pushed those thoughts away and got to work. Fully concentrating on the task at hand.  
Anything else could wait for later.

  
While he was working in the kitchen, Stiles could hear some grunts and a few curses from his bathroom. He smiled to himself, apparently his wall wasn’t really cooperating.

  
Once all the groceries he wouldn’t need for the meal were packed away, Stiles started  
chopping some vegetables and diced meat into cubes. While shopping he’d decided on a  
simple, but extremely delicious stir fry. It wasn’t much, but maybe it would keep Derek  
around, even as simple friends. In Stiles’ opinion the two of them got along really well, he’d have to see where this took them in the long run.

  
When he deemed the dish ready, he called for Derek to come to the kitchen. The other man  
complied almost immediately.

  
“Wow, either you’re really hungry or you’re finished with the wall,” Stiles joked. Derek grinned with a little bit of red dusting his cheeks.

  
“A little bit of both maybe? I could smell the food the whole time and it was incredibly hard not to rush in here and devour everything in sight,” he muttered, which delighted Stiles. “But yes, the wall is finished. Even the tiles are up again, I just have to wait for the glue to dry and then I can grout them, maybe tomorrow or the day after and the wall will be as good as new.” Stiles was glad to hear that.

  
“And...do I have to look for a new place for my… _friend_?” Stiles asked shyly. He really  
shouldn’t ask something like that, but he needed to know if he needed to adjust his shower fun in the future.

  
“As far as I can tell you shouldn’t run into any other difficulties,” Derek said in a rough voice,  
before clearing his throat and continuing. “But maybe you could use some help with  
_him_?” Stiles wasn’t sure if he heard right. Did Derek just suggest they could shower  
together and more importantly use his dildo while doing so? Stiles looked up with big eyes, meeting Derek’s that were glowing a soft blue. Lost for words Stiles could only nod, which drew a delighted smile on Derek’s face, that Stiles answered in kind.

  
Never in his wildest dreams could Stiles have predicted, that kind of fucking through the wall in his shower, wouldn’t end up being the single most embarrassing thing to ever happen to him. But result in him meeting a nice guy, who was interested in him. And also looked like a god?  
Apparently not every embarrassing thing had to lead to eternal shame, sometimes it could  
lead to a new beginning.


End file.
